Things I Am Not to do at a Tower of High Sorcery
by SoundzofSilence
Summary: Things I Am Not Allowed to Do at Hogwarts but Dragonlance style! Oh the hilarity!
1. Poking Fun at Magi

1. The Staff of Magius is not a glowstick

2. The Staff of Magius is not a back scratcher

3. The Staff of Magius is not a studded toothpick

4. The Staff of Magius is not a rectal thermometer

5. Raistlin is not from 'the hood'

6. Dark elves are not allergic to the light

6. Par-Salian is not a mutant dust bunny

7. Do not point at the White Robes of the Conclave and say, "Look, Raist! Bunnies!"

8. Robes are not dresses

9. Robes are not circus tents

10. Robes are not togas

11. Male wizards are not cross dressers

12. Raistlin and Dalamar are not 'Men in Black'

13. I am not remind Raistlin his name rhymes with grin, not smirk

14. I am not to steal the Staff of Magius and say, "Come into the light!"

15. It is probably not a good idea to mistake Raistlin for his staff (they're both so darn thin!)

16. I am not to sing "We're off to see the wizard" on the way to a Tower of High Sorcery

17. I am not to tell the local children to build tree houses in the Skoikan Grove

18. I am also not to send children to pet the guardians of the Wayreth Grove

19. The hands in the Shoikan Grove do not want a handshake

20. Specters are not 'ghost gas'

21. Par-Salian is not Santa Claus who fell in bleach

22. 22 is not the answer to the Test

23. Raistlin is not a 'big bee' nor is he an 'overgrown hornet'

24. Do not ask Raistlin if Dalamar is his 'Queen Bee'

25. When interrogated by a wizard, I am not to wave my hand and announce, "You want to go home and rethink your life."

26. Or "I do not want a Death Stick."

27. I will not say the phrase "Hey, Data" to Raistlin

28. Raistlin is not an Oompa Loompa Deluxe Edition

29. I shall not add sugar, spice, and everything nice to Raistlin's tea

30. I shall not bowl with a dragon orb

31. I will not dress up like Fistandantilus for Halloween

32. I do not have the authority to declare an official Hug a Black Robe Day

33. I will not mix kender tales in the history section of the Library

34. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel and unusual joke to play on the resident specters and Ghostbusters

35. I will never ask Dalamar if his burn marks are tingling

36. It is a bad idea to inform Raistlin Majere he takes himself too seriously

37. It is an equally bad idea to tell Dalamar Argent he takes himself too seriously

38. I will not lock Raistlin and Crysania and Caramon and Tika in a room and take bets on the outcome

39. I am not to play fetch with the Staff of Magius and insist Raistlin is a Golden Retriever

40. Raistlin's Laboratory is not a kennel for Labs

41. I shall not ask the Conclave if there is a Convex

42. I do not have the authority to establish a Convex

43. I do not have the authority to invite Kendermore over for a picnic

44. I am not to trade 'interesting' wizard items with kender…even for sugar

45. I shall not set the Live Ones free by flushing them into the sewer

46. Raistlin did not attempt to steal the 'Midas Touch' from Midas

47. Raistlin is not one of the X-Men

48. I am not to sing 'The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny' when Raistlin and Caramon meet

49. I am not to sing 'Man! I Feel Like a Woman' when I see Dalamar

50. I do not have the right to sell Dalamar's possessions on eBay, nor is Dalamar a pet rock

51. I shall not pawn Raistlin on eBay

52. I am not to ask Raistlin if he is a gold dragon in disguise

53. Dalamar's first name is not Beaker

* * *

AN: Okay, managed to recover chapter one...or most of it. I'm still missing six amusing numbers of hilarity. Please help me find them! 


	2. Donated by Readers and Reviewers

60. I will not refer to Par-Salian as Gandalf, nor Raistlin as Saruman. (donated by Dead Chick Walking)

61. I will not tell apprentices that Fizban is the voice of God, even if he is. (Dead Chick Walking)

62. It is not my job to see if Raistlin weighs as much as a duck. (Dead Chick Walking)

63. I will not give a mage an energy drink just to see if s/he cheers up (SoundzofSilence)

64. Do not go up to a black, red, or white robe and tug on their robes to see if gifts will fall out. (Ainulin)

65. Asking "How did Fistandantilus blow himself?" and answering "Up" is a dirty and disrespectful joke (Youkaiguru)

66. The Staff of Magius is not to be referred to as The Elder Wand, the Wand of Destiny, the Deathstick, or whatever other pseudso-threatenening names Rowling called that uber-wand in Harry Potter. (FlogginFanfics)

67. Raistlin is not to be referred to as Voldemort (FlogginFanfics)

68. Or Professor Snape (FlogginFanfics)

69. Or Filch (author)

70. It is not advised to serenade Raistlin with the popular calypso tune, "Don't Worry, Be Happy" (FlogginFanfics)

71. In fact, it's best not to serenade Raistlin with any calypso music...(FlogginFanfics)

72. or showtunes...(FlogginFanfics)

73. In fact, it's best if you just don't sing at all in his presence. (FlogginFanfics)

74. Playing "The Imperial March" every time Raistlin passes is done at own risk (FlogginFanfics)

75. There is no such thing as an "Indigo Robe", so stop asking. (FlogginFanfics)

76. Or Pink Robe (by author)

77. Using the ghosts to recreate Michael Jackson's famous music video "Thriller" is not permitted (FlogginFanfics)

78. Failure to comply with any of the above rules will result in expulsion from the Dragonlance saga; upon which you shall be placed in a 'bastardized' fantasy world, such as Eragon or the Forgotten Realms. (FlogginFanfics)

79. It is not recommended to go trick-or-treating, or ding-dong-ditching in the forest of Wayreth or the Tower of High Sorcery (Ainulin)

80. The black robes enjoy my company, no matter how much they say they don't (Ainulin)

81. Raistlin enjoys my company, no matter how many death threats I recieve (Ainulin)

82. Dalamar enjoys my company, no matter how many times my knuckles are slapped (Ainulin)

83. The white robes are nice to me because they love my personality (Ainulin)

84. Red robes are not white robes that bled too much (Ainulin)

85. White robes are not black robes that used too much bleach (Ainulin)

86. Black robes are not white robes who jumped in fire soot (Ainulin)

87. Do not say to Raistlin, "Come on, Tinman. If you come with us, maybe the Wizard of Oz will give you a heart."

88. When a Death Eater walks by, I will not say to Raistlin, "Look, it's your sister!" (Darren's Wings)

89. When walking into a Chinese restraunt and peering at the sushi, I will not say to Dalamar or Raistlin or Fistandantilus, "Was he a good apprentice?" (Darren's Wings)

90. When visiting Kendermore, I am not to bring my sign-up list for Fistandantilus's next apprentice. (Darren's Wings)

91. When in audience with the Kingpriest, I will not point to Raistlin/Fistandantilus sitting in the corner and say, "You should paint that wall lighter so it won't go to the Dark Side." (Darren's Wings)

92. Breaking any of these rules will not ensure tea and freshly baked crumpets at two with Raistlin. (Darren's Wings)

93. Or tea and crumpets (Darren's Wings)

94. I am not to say to Raist, "Hey, dude...Elminster, Merlin, Gandalf, and Dumbledore are having a spell contest in your room...it's going badly." (Warbender)

95. I will not suggest that the Staff of Magius is compensation for something else that is small (Dark-necrophhia666)

96. I am not to play 'Thriller' by Michael Jackson whenever Dalamar and Raistlin are together in a room. (Li-Chu Lovely)

97. I will also not nickname Dalamar Dalai Llama (Margaret K the Corpse)

98. I am not to present Dalamar with a black leather thong for his birthday (Li-Chu Lovely)

99. A silk one would be much more appropriate (Li-Chu Lovely)

100. I will not point to Dalamar and yell 'Vampire!' (Skandragon Blackheart)

101. Or Raistlin (Skandragon Blackheart)

102. Pushing a white robe in tar dose not make him a black robe (Skandragon Blackheart)

103. Dying a white mages robes red is a very bad idea (Skandragon Blackheart)

104. Dying a black mages robes white is even worse, and will very likely get you killed (Skandragon Blackheart)

105. I am not to walk up to Raistlin and say "Aw, Waist woves his bwother!" (FEwriter78)

106. I am not to walk up to Raistlin and say "Aw, Raistlin loves Chrysania! (FEwriter78)

107. I am not to walk up to Raistlin and say "AHAHAHA! Caramon slept with Miranda and YOU didn't!" (FEwriter78)

108. I am not to call Raistlin Darth Sidious. (FEwriter78)

109. I am not to ask Raistlin if he is disturbed because Michael Jackson molested him. (FEwriter78)

110. I am not to tell Raistlin that he loves a gully dwarf. (FEwriter78)

111. I am not to tell Raistlin that I am his stalker. (FEwriter78)

112. I will not accuse Raistlin of being jealous of Caramon. (FEwriter78)

113. Or of being jealous of Michael Jackson's looks. (FEwriter78)

114. I will not call Par-Salian "dude." (FEwriter78)

115. I am not to tell Ladonna she is a stuck-up, constipated, overweighted out-of-date loser. (FEwriter78)

116. I will never, ever look into Raistlin's bedroom at night and tell people what he was doing with undead corpses. (FEwriter78)

117. I will not accuse Raistlin of secretly loving Sturm as a brother. (FEwriter78)

118. I will not accuse Raistlin of being a bishop turned sage turned druid. (FEwriter78)

119. I will not accuse Fistandantilus of being a zombie. (FEwriter78)

120. Or a wraith. (FEwriter78)

121. In fact, it's just best to not call Fistandantilus anything at all.

122. I will not point out to the Conclave or the deities that they let Raistlin become uber powerful and he ended up killing everyone. (FEwriter78)

123. I will NOT ask Raistlin if he's really still a virgin. (inu adic)

124. I will NOT say to Raistlin, "What the hell where you thinking! The Queen of Darkness is a GODDESS!" (inu adic)

125. In fact, it's not a good idea to remind him of his failure at all. (inu adic)

126. I will NOT say to Raistlin, "If I hug you will I be sucked in by a black hole or will my arms just catch fire?" (inu adic)

127. I will not tell Raistlin that his long lost brother is the mage who went into the Abyss after seeing Takhisis as the Temptress and never came out (Darren's Wings)

128. Every time Raistlin mentions his plans to enter the Abyss and take over godhood, I will not tap my clipboard and say, "Cue maniacal laughter!" (Darren's Wings)

129. Whenever Raistlin, Palin, or Magius says, "Shirak!" I will not scold them for using such...'enlightening'...language (Darren's Wings)

130. I will not hang over mages as they cast spells (Darren's Wings)

131. I will not yell every time Ulin walks by, "Raistlin lied! Your parents are cousins!" (Darren's Wings)

132. I will not proclaim that, of Miranda, Amberyl, Crysania, and Bupu, the gully dwarf was Raistlin's favourite (Darren's Wings)

133. I will not send Raistlin a box of those marshmallow Peeps with a note that says, "Look, Raist! Bunnies." (Darren's Wings)

134. I will not steal the Device of Time Journeying (Darren's Wings)

135. When someone asks for it back, I will not claim that if they take it I'll die because it is my "ticker" (Darren's Wings)

136. I will not call Raistlin shiny, even if he is (Skandragon Blackheart)

137. I will not ask Raistlin if his day isn't complete unless he has horrified a complete stranger (Skandragon Blackheart)

138. I will not declare that Wanderer needs a search party...(Darren's Wings)

139. I am not to sing "Coldhearted Snake" when I see Raistlin (Mew Hana)

140. I am not to sing "Sexyback" when I see Dalamar (Mew Hana)

141. Raistlin is not the incarnate of the Grinch (Mew Hana)

142. Or Scrooge (Mew Hana)

142. Or Adolf Hitler (Mew Hana)

143. I will not ask Raistlin if he is a bronze statue brought to life (comethewolf)

144. I am not tell the local children to give Raistlin a hug (Jenna of the Red Robes)

145. I am not tell the local children to ask Dalamar to tear open his robes (Jenna of the Red Robes)

146. I am not to yell, "Ding, Dong, the witch is dead" every time the Portal to the Abyss is mentioned (Jenna of the Red Robes)

147. I am not to sing "I'm Sexy and I Know It" whenever Dalamar walks by (Jenna of the Red Robes)

* * *

AN: When we reach 115 or 150, or something my target will change from mages to another race of Krynn- unless you have more jokes to throw at me


	3. Things I Am NOT to do While in Solamnia

**Things I am never to do while in Solamnia:**

1. I will not use Dereck Crownguard's armor as my personal drum set. (Riahsue)

2. I will not build a snowman in Sturm's memory, no matter how realistic it looks. (Riahsue)

3. I must DEFINITELY never, ever shave off a knight's moustaches while he sleeps. I must wait and grow one of my own. (Riahsue)

4. I do not have the authority to host a parade inside the fortress. (Riahsue)

5. I must not ensure a kender a place in the knighthood if he buys me a scone…No matter how good the scone looks. (Riahsue)

6. I will not dump itching powder into their platemail, chainmail, or boots. Just to see them do the funky chicken or -in Derik Crounguard's case- the cat scratch fever. (Warbender)

7. Nor will I dump ants in their armor to make them do the boogie dance as much as they need the boogi dance. Muahhahaha! (Warbender)

8. I will not liquid-pack stink bombs in their boots...Aww come on, just the arrogant, no-brained, doorknob ones... PLEASE... (Warbender)

9. Knights will not do the Macarena if itching powder is placed in their armor (SoundzofSilence)

10. Or the Y.M.C.A. (SoundzofSilence)

11. Or the Hampster Dance or any other music (SoundzofSilence)

12. Playing Hide-and-Seek with any knight's codpiece is considered perverted and no laughing matter (SoundzofSilence)

13. I will not tell Gerard that his face looks like a butt implant gone awry (Margaret K the Corpse)

14. Sturm is not Mario in armor (Margaret K the Corpse)

15. I am not to enter the headquarters of the Knights of Solamnia and ask them if Pizza Knight is around. (Li-Chu Lovely)

16. I will not laugh in the face of Lord Soth. (FEwriter78)

17. I will not accuse Lord Soth of being in love with Kitiara in public (FEwriter78)

18. Steel "Bright"blade was not named after a gully dwarf (Darren's Wings)

19. I will not inform Mina that just because she knows the One God, she has MarySuish eyes, and she has a creepy horse does not mean she's allowed to talk to the dead (Darren's Wings)

20. Or to order the dead around. The impertenance of it! (Darren's Wings)

21. I will not tell Targonne a kender just broke into his treasury (Darren's Wings)

22. When walking by Steel Brightblade, I will not wear sun glasses (Darren's Wings)

23. Or when walking by the Tower of the Suns (Darren's Wings)

24. I will not claim Marshal Medan is an elf in disguise (Darren's Wings)

25. I will not send Lady Odila corn bread and cornflowers and claim they're from her One True Love (Darren's Wings)

26. Solamniacs are not "kniggits" (SoundzofSilence)

27. I will not ask Mina if, "I see dead people," is her new motto (Darren's Wings)

28. I will not tell Mina that Takhisis is not the One God, but the Goddess of Five Heads (Darren's Wings)

29. I will not ask Mina, "Since Takhisis is the One God and the Goddess of Five Heads, does that make her a transvestite?"(SoundzofSilence)

30. Razor shall not be told he is NOT sharp (Darren's Wings)

31. Nor was he named after a gully dwarf either (Darren's Wings)

32. I will not say that Odila + Gerard 'corny' jokes (Darren's Wings)

33. When attending a Solamniac Knight's parade, I will not yell, "Save a horse, ride a knight!" (SoundzofSilence)


	4. Things I Am NOT to say to the Deities

1. I will not call the Master of the black moon "Old Softy" (Warbender)

2. I will not call The Mistress of the red moon "Old Luny" (Warbender)

3. I will not call Paladine "Hey dragon" (Warbender)

4. I will not tell the Dark Queen that each of her heads has really bad Dragon-breath. (Warbender)

5. I will not tell Palin Majere to wave around his staff whilst reminding Takhisis that this is the nephew of her conquerer in a different timeline. (Darren's Wings)

6. I will not remind Fizban that his name isn't a real name, according to a certain kender... (Darren's Wings)

7. I will not call Reorx short (Darren's Wings)

8. Or remind him that: "short people will one day rule the world" (Darren's Wings)

9. I will not rig the portal to the Abyss in order to get free cable. (Margaret K the Corpse)

10. I am not to play fetch with a dog using the Disks of Mshakal (Margaret K the Corpse)

11. I will not tell a person that the Abyss is a wonderful vacation site, no matter how stupid said person is (Skandragon Blackheart)

12. I will not ask the Dark Queen if she has named each of her dragon heads (Skandragon Blackheart)

13. I will not openly mock and defy the gods, causing another Cataclysm. (FEwriter78)

14. Breaking these rules will not get you sent to the Abyss or whatever they call heaven. (FEwriter78)

15. Breaking these rules will result in your immediate "being tortured by watching that horrible Final Fantasy the Spirits Within movie." (FEwriter78)

16. I will not call the gods impotent because I can banish them with a flick of my imagination. (FEwriter78)

17. I will not ask Takhisis which days she works at the brothel (SoundzofSilence)

18. I will not ask Fizban where his hat is (Darren's Wings)

19. I will not tell Fizban he is a gnome...he might believe it (Darren's Wings)

20. I will not impersonate Sargonnas and enter the Abyss, shouting, "Honey, I'm home!" (Darren's Wings)

21. I will not ask Dougan Redhammer, "Wanna bet?" (Darren's Wings)

22. I shall not call Fizban Gandalf (Skandragon Blackheart)

* * *

AN: Encouraged yet? Keep sending 'em! Bring out the comedian in you! 


	5. Things I Am NOT to do with Gnomes

1. Never press a button, pull a rope, or touch a lever without asking what it does first. (Nightcrawler92913)

2. Never begin or end a sentence to a gnome with "how does that work, exactly?" (Nightcrawler92913)

3. Never begin or end a sentence to a gnome with "I don't think that's going to work." You'll start a committee on why the sky is blue. (Nightcrawler92913)

4. Never tell a gnome that his blueprints look a little off. (Nightcrawler92913)

5. Never distract the operator of a gnomeflinger when you're in the seat. (Nightcrawler92913)

6. Never distract a gnome while he's working with explosives. (Nightcrawler92913)

7. Never distract a gnome while he's cooking. (Nightcrawler92913)

8. Actually, just never distract a gnome at all. (Nightcrawler92913)

9. Never mention the Day of Rotten Eggs to anyone living on the island of Sancrist unless you are holding a bucket for them to vomit into. (Nightcrawler92913)

10. Never ask for directions in Mount Nevermind; it will take you three days to get back to where you started just to ask for directions again. (Nightcrawler92913)

11. Never say "magic", "dragon", or "steam engine" in front of a gnome unless you plan on being there for a long, long time. (Nightcrawler92913)

12. Never ask a gnome to play with anything- they will let you and you will explode. (Nightcrawler92913)

13. Never ask a gnome their name. (Nightcrawler92913)

14. Never switch around the books in a gnomish library. (Nightcrawler92913)

15. Being lynched by gnomes is _NOT_ FUN and should be avoided at all costs. (Nightcrawler92913)

16. Never ask a gnome the name of any of their ancestors- you won't live _that_ long (even if you're an elf) and gnomes are as bad as kender in the aspect of speaking for lengthy amounts of time (SoundzofSilence- I mean, me! The beginner of this...erm, 'story')

17. If thirsty, never ask a gnome for a drink. Who knows what you'll get, but I assure you that it won't be water (SoundzofSilence)

18. The same goes for food: use common sense- if it doesn't _look_ natural, it probably isn't (SoundzofSilence)

19. Never ask a gnome how many committees exist. Again- even the gods themselves would consider that cruel and unusual punishment (SoundzofSilence)

20. Duct tape can fix anything- including a gnome's jabbering mouth (SoundzofSilence)

21. Doodling on any gnome's blueprints is not amusing (SoundzofSilence)

22. I will not punt gnomes...or gully dwarves for that matter, even if it is oddly satisfying. (Margaret K the Corpse)

23. I will not dine at a gnomish restaurant (Darren's Wings)

24. I will not explain to Conundrum that he's trying to map the Hedge Maze entirely the wrong way (Darren's Wings)

25. I will not ask him if he's consulted the Committee of Mapping, Graphing, Sketching, Caligraphy, Metric Units, Drawing, Anatomy, Mazes, Hedges, Plants, Foliage, Flowers, Weeds-Hey! Don't interrupt me! (Darren's Wings)

26. I will not inform a gnome that there is always an easier way to do something (Jenna of the Red Robes)


	6. Things I Am NOT to say to Plainsmen

1. Plainsmen are not hippies (Margaret K the Corpse)

2. Riverwind and Goldmoon were not 'stoned' (pun intended) (Margaret K the Corpse)

3. Goldmoon's real name is not Tiffany (Margaret K the Corpse)

4. Like the Staff of Magius, Goldmoon's staff is not a rectal thermometer either (SoundzofSilence)

5. Or any of the things Raistlin's staff has been affiliated with, but it _does_ make an excellent substitute for a microphone...(SoundzofSilence)

6. I will not sneeze every time a Plainsman walks by, even if I _AM_ allergic to dust and they _DO_ live on the Plains of Dust (Darren's Wings)

7. I will not remind Goldmoon that she praised the One God (Darren's Wings) 

* * *

AN: Remember, just because the chapter is short doesn't mean that the other chapters haven't been added to. Be sure to check at the bottoms where the new stuff lies in wait. . 


	7. Things I Am Not to Do With Kender

1. I will not give a kender a Monster- energy drink (Evil-psychotic-monkey-MUAHA)

2. I am never venture into Kendermore of my own free will. Ever. (FEwriter78)

3. I will not turn myself into a kender, then go into a crowded area (such as Palanthas square) and shout, "Oops!" (Darren's Wings)

4. I will not jump up and down every time Tas is whooshed into a duck pond and scream, "My turn! My turn!" (Darren's Wings)

5. I will not proclaim that, because they both have pointy ears, elves and kender are related (Darren's Wings)

6. Giving a random kender the key to the city of Palanthas is not 'hella funny' (SoundzofSilence)

7. I will not hand out circus peanuts dipped in marshmallow fluff and rolled in sugar and sprinkles in Kendermore, along with some Coke (Darren's Wings)

8. I am never to give kender sugar or caffeine in any way, shape, or form (SoundzofSilence)

9. Kender don't require alcohol to tell the truth. They generally blab it out on their own. (SoundzofSilence)

10. I shall not tell all of Kendermore that 'short people will one day rule the world'; it might give them ideas (Skandragon Blackheart)

11. I will never ever mention the words 'Uncle', 'Trapspringer', or 'jail' to a kender unless I want to hear a five hour story that makes all the sense of a dancing peanut on Mars. (FEwriter78)

12. I will not decide to add order to Kendermore (Darren's Wings)

13. I will never tell a kender that jail isn't nice (Jenna of the Red Robes)

14. I will not ask a kender: "What do you have in your pouches?" (Jenna of the Red Robes)

15. I will not ask a kender about his latest adventure (Jenna of the Red Robes)

* * *

AN: Yes, there is now officially a chapter dedicated to those kleptomaniac midgets- the kender!


	8. Things I Am Not to do with Elves

1. I will not tell Alhana that her long lost brother is Gerard (Darren's Wings)

2. I will not lock Medan, Tanis, Laurana, and Kitiara in an empty room (Darren's Wings)

3. I will not tell the Silvanesti all about my dreams (Darren's Wings)

4. I will not hand out dream journals in Silvanost (Darren's Wings)

5. I will not claim Marshal Medan is an elf in disguise (Darren's Wings)

6. When asked about the intelligence of elves in general, I am not to say, "Oh, it's like their homes- more window than building!" (SoundzofSilence)

7. I am forbidden to tell elves that arrows are weapons of the future (SoundzofSilence)

8. Or that arrows are the most primal form of gun (SoundzofSilence)

9. Forcing elves to eat meat by telling them graphic versions of what plants would say or think if they could express their feelings is not advisable. The elves might become anorexic (SoundzofSilence)

10. Elves are not pansies (SoundzofSilence)

11. Asking an elf to teach you how to make a home like theirs is not advisable. (Ainulin)

12. Insisting to an elf that you are related to an elf is not a good idea. Nor is it wise to convince an elf that they are related to YOU. (Ainulin)

13. It is not recommended to taunt the elves at the borders of Qualinesti and Silvanesti. They WILL kill you. (Ainulin)

14. Do not ask a Dark Elf what Qualinesti or Silvanesti are like. (Ainulin)

15. Do not ask an elf in his homeland if he/she is a Dark Elf. (Ainulin)

16. Do not ask an elf which elves are Dark Elves. (Ainulin)

17. I will not ask Silvanoshei if chasing after Mina is following in his Aunt Laurana's footsteps. (Darren's Wings)

18. I will not declare that all elves are Dark Elves (Darren's Wings)

19. I will not ask a dark elf why they are a dark elf (Jenna of the Red Robes)

20. I will not ask any Silvanesti how they slept or what they dreamed about (Jenna of the Red Robes)

21. I will not remind elves that they aren't really the beloved of the gods (Jenna of the Red Robes)

* * *

Remember to check the previous chapters for updates at the bottom.


	9. Things I Am Not to do with Gully Dwarves

1. I will not inform a gully dwarf that there is three (Darren's Wings)

2. I will not challenge Kendermore to a game of Truth or Dare (Darren's Wings)

3. Or Mt. Nevermind (Darren's Wings)

4. Or This Place (This Place is the name of the tribe of gully dwarves' home) (Darren's Wings)

5. I will not tell Astinus that Bupu is smarter than him (Darren's Wings)

6. I have not or ever will eat at a gully dwarf mess hall (SoundzofSilence)

7. For a definition of 'mess', look no further than a gully dwarf mess hall (SoundzofSilence)

8. I will not tell a gully dwarf to do more than one thing at a time (Jenna of the Red Robes)

9. I won't try to explain to a gully dwarf how to use silverware (Jenna of the Red Robes)


End file.
